Per the title, this blog is about the top ten quotes about independence. Now when I say “the top ten” of course I mean “top ten according to me”, because I am in fact, the one writing this blog. 🙂 These are just ten quotes that I love and I think can help any woman on her stroll down independence road.
Here they are, in no particular order:
“Be the woman you promised yourself you’d be when you were a little girl” – @bossbabe.inc
Thanks @bossbabe for sharing this gem with the world! I remember when I was a little girl I was so determined to be great. I had such great ambitions and dreams. There are two that I remember most clearly. First, I was going to be in the WNBA. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I was convinced that I would be playing for the Utah Starzz one day and no one was going to steer me off that course. My brother would take me to the WNBA basketball games now and then, and, If I remember correctly, I was gifted a WNBA Barbie doll for Christmas one year. Second, I was bound and determined to serve a mission for my church. Every penny I earned was put directly into my mission fund and heaven help the poor soul who questioned my desire. Somewhere along the way that little girl changed and so did her dreams and goals. But that doesn’t mean that the woman she is now can’t strive for things as equally great!
“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.” – Oscar Wilde
This quote came into my life at exactly the right moment and I hope that someone out there is reading it at a time that it will serve them as well! Recently I was in a serious relationship. We were committed to each other personally and we also happened to be coworkers. Every spare second of my day was spent with him (no complaints). While we were together I almost never took time out just for myself. So naturally, along the way I forgot what it was like to just be myself. My identity somehow blurred with his and then when he was gone… I had to get to know myself again. Don’t be like me in this instance. Not only was it not fair to myself, but it wasn’t fair to him either. No matter how much you care about someone, always take time for yourself to get to know yourself or at least remember who you are! You owe it to yourself, and the person who chooses to be with you. If there was a dictionary comprised of the names of everyone in the world, make sure your definition is truly unique, truly yours; not just a footnote to someone else’s name!
“I am not worried about intimidating men. The type of man that is intimidated by me is exactly the type of man that I am not interested in.” – Chimamando Ngozi Adichie
If you’re anything like me, hard-working, independent, ambitious, opinionated …. then you’ve likely been told by one or more people that you’re intimidating. If I had a nickel for every time one of my relationships ended (or never fully started) because a guy was intimidated by me I’d have, well… honestly probably only about 7 or 8 nickels. But still, that’s more than I care to have for that reason! An old boyfriend of mine told me once “I just feel like you don’t ever need me, you’re too strong for me”. I took one look at those pitiful eyes and thought, “you’re damn right I don’t”. I don’t need someone who is so wrapped up in their own insecurities that they don’t see that I love them or need them. A REAL man will stand BY me and work WITH me, not stand BEHIND me and be AFRAID of me.
“If you live off a man’s compliments, you’ll die from his criticism.” – Cornelius Lindsey
Ah, another one for the relationship world. There is nothing wrong with enjoying compliments. In fact it’s perfectly natural and healthy even! But I think it’s easy for us as women, for myself anyway, to get swept away in them and begin to define our relationship with someone based on the good things they say about us. When that inevitably pauses for a moment, it’s going to sting. Love a man for who he truly is and allow him to do the same for you! Let him love you for all of your great qualities and let him continue to love you in spite of your flaws.
“If I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote.” – KushandWizdom
This quote is a favorite simply because it always elicits a chuckle. And, of course there is a profound truth in it! We, as human beings, have been given an incredible, beautiful gift called agency. God has given us the ability to CHOOSE. We are in control of our own actions, thoughts, decisions… destiny!! So the next time someone tries to control you, tell them to point that remote towards the TV and turn it to a self help channel. They’ll need it.
“A strong woman loves, forgives, walks away, lets go, tries again, and perseveres… no matter what life throws at her.” – Tammy Strait
In today’s world women are constantly being told to keep up with the men. We’re always fighting for equality and fair treatment with male species. But somewhere along the line, things have been blurred and now we’re being told that we have to be harsh, unforgiving, and ruthless in order to fit into this world. If that’s what I have to be to fit into this world, then I don’t want to fit into this world. We could use more women who are loving and kind. We need more women who are strong enough to walk way from or let go of something that isn’t healthy.
“Feel the fear and do it anyway” – Susan Jeffers.
I’ve always been told by friends, family, and onlookers that I’m an independent person. And I’d like to think that they’re right. But sometimes people look at an independent person and think that they must never be afraid. Not true. I’ve been blessed with some pretty extreme adventures and before and during each one I was TERRIFIED. And that’s okay. Being scared is natural as long as we don’t let it rule us. Feel the fear because it’s real. But don’t let it stop you because you can learn a lot from it!
“You have permission to rest. You are not responsible for fixing everything that is broken. You do not have to try and make everyone happy. For now, take time for you. It’s time to replenish.” –unknown
This quote is for those few people out there that worry about everyone else first. From the outside looking in you’re a strong, self-sufficient woman without a care in the world. But when you lay your head down at night and close your eyes, all you see is all the problems you need to fix and the people you need to help. Take time to take some deep breaths and only think about the good things in your life. Or better yet, think about nothing. It is not your responsibility to solve everything. No one asked you to. But you worry about things and other people because you truly care, just remember, “secure your own oxygen mask before attending to children and other passengers.” Easy craft idea: Buy a sharpie and a white pillow case, write this quote on the pillowcase in big, beautiful letters. Repeat it to yourself every night as you lay down. It’s what I do!
“As you travel solo, being totally responsible for yourself, it’s inevitable that you will discover just how capable you are.” – Solo Traveler
Traveling solo has been one of the best things I’ve ever done with my life. It’s true that there were many times that I wished I’d had a travel partner to share an experience with, but it’s my solo travels that have shown me just what I’m truly capable of. There’s nothing like being a few thousand miles outside of your comfort zone, surrounded by language barriers, with no one to rely on, to teach you just what you can wriggle through or out of in a day.
“A strong woman builds her own world. She is one who is wise enough to know that it will attract the man she will gladly share it with.” –Ellen J Barrier.
Last, but not least, don’t spend your life waiting for someone else. I’ve spent a few years just hoping that the perfect man would swoop in somewhere in there. Because my dominant thought was wishing that someone else would show up, inevitably I did little to actually build myself or my own world. That time is gone and I’ll never get it back. So now I’m left to play catch up in living my own life and creating my own universe. Be yourself, life your life. Don’t leave empty spaces and wait for someone else to fill them. Create your own world and when you meet the right person your worlds will merge to build something great!